[Moderated by Matt Jones]
During last Thursday night’s blowout win against Vanderbilt in Nashville, (that is how I’m choosing to remember it and I suggest you do the same) our dear friend and basketball connoisseur Bob Knight became confused over what exactly that new-fangled clock contraption was that is ever so important in determining such things as the time left in the game and the seconds allowed to get off a shot on each possession. You know, just minor things pertaining to the game of basketball, but I digress. If you have watched the above video, it was an awkward (yet hilarious) thing to observe, and the tone of Rece Davis’ voice hinted at the frustration he was feeling from having to do commentary with the AARP General.
The confusion and possible early indicator of Alzheimer’s (get your grandparents checked, folks) presents us with a chance to take a look at other times in Knight’s illustrious career where simple, every day items or concepts have tripped up the Sulking Sultan of Sweaters. Shall we?
You would think something as simple as a chair would avoid confusing Bob Knight, but you would also think a school like Texas Tech wouldn’t hire Bob Knight AND Billy Gillispie in one lifetime. Anyway, anyone who has been a fan of college basketball long enough knows this is Knight’s most famous moment of insanity among a list of many, many moments. I can only imagine the conversation that occurred seconds before the chair toss:
Knight: “What is this?”
Assistant: “It’s a chair.”
Knight: “So, what is this other chair?”
Assistant: “That is the one that you get to use.”
Knight: “Why do we need two chairs!? Why are there so many chairs!?”
And there you have the above picture. He’s so confused.
This next moment of confusion may be a lesser known incident that occurred while Knight was the head coach at Texas Tech. Back in 2004, Bobby K got into a verbal altercation with the TTU Chancellor while shopping at an upscale grocery store…standing at the salad bar. Really, Bob? You consider Piggly Wiggly upscale? Let’s take a look at how that exchange probably went down:
Knight: “What is this?”
Chancellor: “That is Lettuce, Coach.”
Knight: “What is this other Lettuce, then?”
Chancellor: “That is spinach, Coach. It’s, umm, another type of lettuce.”
Knight: “Why are there two lettuces!? Isn’t one type of lettuce plenty!?”
That poor, poor Chancellor. He never stood a chance. Imagine what happened when Knight found the salad dressing.
Knight’s mind-boggling moments continued, unfortunately, in 2010 when he infamously said at some Indiana Corn Grower’s Hoedown Annual Meet and Greet that UK had five starters who hadn’t attended class in the spring semester of that year. Sigh. Seriously, Bob? When is the last time you stepped foot in a classroom? When you walked a young Abraham Lincoln home after the arithmetic lesson in the one-room schoolhouse you both attended? Let’s take a look at how Knight may have reacted to the news about UK’s student-athletes:
Knight: “What are these numbers? What does 3.5 and 4.0 mean?”
Grad Assistant: “The spring semester GPAs of John Wall and Brandon Knight.”
Knight: “What is this other number, 3.14?”
Grad Assistant: “The overall spring semester GPA of the 2009/2010 UK team.”
Knight: “Why are there 3 GPAs!? This can’t be right!”
Let’s hope that innocent grad assistant was able to escape harm or injury from the old man. I hope he didn’t do anything rash like, say, choke him. Just ask Neil Reed.
As you can see, Bob Knight’s meltdown Thursday wasn’t the first time he has struggled with daily activities and routines; just add it to the bulletin board already covered with Knight’s follies. I would suggest, however, that his son Pat take the proactive approach and activate Life Alert while putting the Golden Alert Hotline on speed dial. It is only going to go downhill from here.
All Cats Everything.
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