[Moderated by Matt Jones]
Why would you ever want to date this?!
It’s been greatly disputed, tried, and
many times failed. Situation: You meet a cute guy or girl at the bar, approach them, get to small talking, “So how ’bout them cats!” you get the O_o face and are then told that that “cute” guy or girl is a Louisville fan… You have 3 options:
a. Throw back your John Wall and it’s on to the next one
b. Continue talking to the person in hopes that you can persuade them over to the good side eventually
c. Crack a Pitino joke (and then invite them on a date to Porcinis).
Correct Answer: A. (C if you’re old and desperate).
The 11th commandment to a good and healthy life is “Thou Shalt never date a fan of a rival team.” If you have attempted this, or are currently experiencing this, I’m very sorry, fortunately I can’t say that I have experienced your pain, but I can only imagine. First, let me distinguish between a fan and a supporter. A fan is someone who is PASSIONATE about their team, watches the games, knows the players, knows the history of the program, etc. A supporter is someone who might throw up an “L yeah” and call Calipari a cheater every once in a while (even though Louisville fans do this as well but with a lot more malice). If you are dating a supporter of a rival team, the chances of your relationship working out are a lot more likely than if your significant other was just as passionate about their team as you are yours. Although I do not encourage dating “supporters”, the relationship will not be automatically doomed from the beginning like it would be if you were dating a passionate fan. Let’s look at why you should never, under any circumstances, date a fan of a rival team:
1. Too many Arguments: I have friends who are Louisville fans and the arguments I get in with them are over the top and unreal. When it comes to Kentucky basketball, I am always right, and many Louisville fans tend to disagree. I was born and raised a Kentucky fan, and like many, basketball consumes my life. All my life consists of during basketball season is watching games and cheering on my cats. If I’m not watching basketball, I’m thinking about it, and it’s all I want to talk about. Because of this, and because I think Coach Cal is God’s gift to Kentucky, I tend to argue with Louisville fans quite often. I’ve never been in a relationship with a Louisville fan, but I can only imagine it would be what I experience with my friends times 10. If you’re a fan of a team, you think your team is superior and the best of the best, lucky for me my Wildcats actually are, but other team’s fans are going to disagree. And THAT is reason 1 behind your relationship being doomed.
2. Constant Jealousy: Jealousy in a relationship is never a good thing, and let’s face it… Over half of the country is jealous of us. We are the number one team in the nation, we have the best coach (not my biased opinion), number 1 recruiting classes, the brow, miller time, MKG, a breakfast club, the WBA… I could keep going but I think you get the picture.
3. Strain on your Relationship: If you and your significant other are out in public, both wearing your teams colors, people are going to have something to say. It may be a nice little joke or you may get a couple of these O_o again, but regardless, you will be stared at. And people will probably throw a couple of “Go Big Blue” toward your L supporting, Red wearing significant other. Strain on a relationship is also never a good thing.
4. What if you have Children: What if you manage to make it past 1-3, decide to get married and have to deal with the most important, biggest question that can come from that… if you were to have children, what team will they be raised a fan of. I can’t imagine anything worse as a parent then my child coming up to me and telling me they’re a Louisville fan. It would be the day I realize I have failed as a parent. I would immediately punish them by making them read Bounce Back, watch highlight clips, memorize the names and bio of every player since their birth until they come to their senses and decide they want to be a winner again. Luckily, I know this will never happen to me… but it could potentially happen to those who disregard the rules and decide to date a rival fan. Save yourself future turmoil and just refrain from putting your child in a divided household.
Footnote: I have never dated a rival fan, these rules were given from an outsider looking in. If you are in a relationship with a rival fan and are making it work, Congrats, you must be awesome in the sack.
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