[Moderated by Matt Jones]

April 24, 2013

What is in the water in Florida?

by @ 9:00 pm. Filed under All Cats Everything



There are things in this social media age that happen, are taken at face value, and then disappear. We see them, make fun of them, laugh and then forget about what we read or saw. Think of CNN during the tragedy in Boston; they couldn’t have messed that up any more than they did but once the drama was over they went back to being a worldwide leader in news, albeit with a small shred of integrity gone. THEN, you have things that continue to happen that won’t go away and you’re forced to finally confront them, staring uncomfortably at your computer hoping it is another Twitter account hack or one big joke that will be revealed sooner rather than later. It’s time to try and understand what is going on with the University of Florida football team.


Joker Phillips was a great guy during his time at Kentucky but once the reigns were handed over to him he seemed to shy away from the spotlight at a time when the program needed him to take an even bigger role as the head coach. Games were lost, fans didn’t show up and both parties moved on, with Phillips ending up in Florida. It seemed to be a good fit for Joker, a place where he could stay away from media scrutiny and coach on a very good SEC te…




Whaaaa….so, this is Joker’s new play, huh? I mean, I get it, I guess; his first name is Joker and that is the famous Batman villain Joker, but what does he have to do with football? Does Florida Joker not know that Batman Joker is an insane man who who fell into a vat of chemicals and fought Michael Keaton atop the Gotham Cathedral? Not to mention the Photoshop effort; this is a C- at best, when put up against the Photoshop projects that 5-year olds do on their parent’s computer. That hashtag, too. It is way too long. You’re only working with 140 characters, Joker. It’s cool, though. We all have tweeted things we’re not proud of…





Ohhh myyy goddd. Another one, though this time he went a little more modern (sorry, Jack Nicholson) and at least gave us Christopher Nolan’s version of the Joker. Does Florida Joker not understand that this is a domestic terrorist who wreaked havoc on the people of Gotham? I’m wholly confused by Joker’s strategy here. Again, like a broken record, the Photoshop effort is horrendous. It would have looked better to just have placed the Joker and his original colors into the picture without the Gators logo and went with it. I want the name of the first recruit who goes on record to say this picture was the tipping point in choosing where to play college football. Find me that guy before the 2018 season and I will pay for his college tuition. That’s it, though; I mean, there are no more Jokers for Joker to tweet about.





THIS ISN’T EVEN A REAL JOKER. It’s the cartoon/comic version of the Joker…and those masks. They have WR numbers plastered on the foreheads, which leads me to wonder, are they required to wear those on the field in order to #ComePlayWRForTheJoker?  Does Joker Phillips really think he is the Joker? How many recruits have answered the door and found Joker wearing white face paint and a green wig? Has Florida handed their social media strategy over to these guys? Sadly, those are all serious questions that must be addressed ASAP/pronto/go go go. Now that we’ve covered every Joker ever created, he’s done, right? No more Photoshops, ever. Right?










This next gem comes not from Joker but instead from Florida’s offensive coordinator Brent Pease. The first question I had when coming across this image was, “Why did they Photoshop pictures of quarterbacks onto the field?” Do they not have stock footage of their QBs standing on the field at the same time? Second, Harry Potter. Playing Quidditch. Harry Potter playing Quidditch at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. Third, is that a stunt plane or a bird with smoke coming out of it? Like, it looks like a plane, somewhat, but it could just as easily be a bird. The jury is still out. The smoke reads, “Chasing #TheStandard.” (OK, I get it now. Harry Potter was a Seeker for Gryffindor, therefore he’s “chasing” the golden snitch. Clever. Still, Harry Potter, tho.) What’s #TheStandard? Are teams going to have to play football at Florida while Quidditch is simultaneously being played in the air? Because if so, Florida isn’t losing a game at home this year. Take that to the bank.


It’s over, thankfully. The horrible Photoshops and creepy Jokers and Harry Potters have been played out. It was fun while it lasted. I wonder if Coach Muschamp knows that this is going…





fkndvlkeno;ighwknfslhs. I quit.




7 Responses to “What is in the water in Florida?”

  1. Ms. J.C. Ausmus Says:

    I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard at a post in a long time. Bless this post. Good job, Tyler.

  2. John Burke Says:

    Lmao it really did need to be publicly acknowledged.

  3. Kory Henry Says:

    Joker is simply what his name implies. A joke. Sorry to sound so harsh, but I disagreed with his head coaching hire from day 1. Great guy, but it takes more than being a great guy to be a good coach. Looks like he is desperate to draw attention from recruits. They notice all right, they notice you’re not serious about results. Why so serious?

  4. Tyler Johnson Says:

    Thanks, J.C. I had to try and make sense of ti all.

    John, I know, maybe he stumbles onto this post and it acts as an intervention.

    Kory is going in on Joker. Tell us how you really feel.

  5. Kory Henry Says:

    I must have been having a bad day yesterday. Iol. I’ve talked with Joker on numerous occasions, great guy and I liked him. Key word “liked”. I don’t think I can ever forget how far he dropped the program. He was decent as OC, but he did not know how to run a football program. And now, I have no idea what he is thinking. Just be real Joker, don’t pretend to be this great photoshopper. Stick to recruiting, not photoshop. Actually, keep it up, we’ll gladly accept the WRs you scare away. Lol

  6. just sayin Says:

    Tyler, great post. I am in tears laughing right now.

  7. Frew Drunklin Says:

    It looks like he’s trying to appeal more to the recruits who enjoy listening to Insane Clown Posse. Interesting strategy.

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