[Moderated by Matt Jones]
Greetings loved ones *Snoop Dogg Voice* (#ThatsSoDarius). Some of you surely tune into Matt Jones’ morning radio show, cleverly titled Kentucky Sports Radio. Some of you have day jobs. And then some of you just drop by to treat us like the interns that we are in the comments section. If you happen to be in the first category mentioned, the radio show/radio podcast regulars, you know that Mark Krebs is never on time (he’s an actor, guys). You know that Ryan Lemond has no concept of numeric value. And perhaps most importantly, you know that the regular callers are the
heart and soul Michael Kidd-Gilchrists of the show. These beloved personalities are a huge part of what really sets KSR’s radio show apart from many of the other sports radio shows in the state.
My personal favorite when it comes to regular callers uses the handle “Fake Barney.” Fake Barney has managed to nail Baby Bop, as well as the humor and voice of Barney perfectly. You can follow Fake Barney on Twitter (@FakeBarneyKSR), which is how I was able to get in touch with the big fella himself. He was kind enough to sit down for an in depth interview with me, answering a slew of questions about himself and his love for Kentucky basketball. Real recognize real Fake Barney. To me, you are as real as they come.
Barney, tell us a little bit about yourself and how you became a Kentucky fan. More importantly, how did you become a regular caller on Kentucky Sports Radio?(Singing to the tune of Yankee Doodle) “I am a fake di-no-saur from your i-ma-gin-a-tion, and in February I be-came a call-in-show sen-sa-tion.” HeeHeeHooHoo! My first call was to reprimand Seth Davis for lying to Matt. Seth the Dookie told Matt he didn’t have anything to talk about and couldn’t come on the show, but then the next day he was on TNT talking about college sports. Seth Davis’ pants were on fire, and fire is not something to be taken lightly…and neither is lying to the KSR show.
How did you discover you could do the Barney voice?I missed the “Barney Craze” by a couple of years as a kid so I used to make fun of him in elementary school to the younger crowd. I’ve actually never seen an entire episode. But when Seth Davis lied to Matt Jones, Fake Barney was born. Matt said he was a big hit, and here we are, nearly 1,000 followers on Twitter and lots of giggles and wiggles later.
What was your most memorable call(s) on KSR?Matt posted the link to my Top 10 calls from 2011 here fake barney audio . My favorites are the ones where I sang the cheer up song and when I called Bobby Knight’s agent on the air.
Is Matt too mean to Ryan Lemond?Not as mean as Ryan’s middle school Civics teacher was by passing him through. HeeHooHoo!
What job do you have that allows you to listen to KSR so much?I get paid to pretend on TV. It’s a pretty sweet gig. I take my lunch from 11-12 every day and sometimes call the gang. That’s why you’ve never heard me call in the first hour! HeeHooHoo!
Do you get weird looks from co-workers?Not as weird as the looks people give each other while that guy spells out Kentucky over the loud speakers before the football games.
Give us a few hints about your identityI graduated from UK in 2006. I’m from North Carolina, and I’m Facebook friends with Shagari just because.
Who is your favorite UK basketball player of all time and why?Kelenna Azubuike– we both came to UK the same year, his dunks were super dee dooper, and it’s fun to rhyme things with his name.
Who is your favorite player on this year’s Kentucky basketball team and why?Brian Long, because he reminds me of my on-screen coworkers.
If you could sit one player from the Kentucky basketball team down and have a heart-to-heart, Barney style, who would it be and what would you say?Terrence Jones. I’d look him in the eyes and sing, “Terrence Terrence Bo Berrence Fa Nanna Nanna Fo Ferrence Me My Mo Merrence, Terrence.” Then I would kiss the boo boo on his pinky and bounce off. I think he would like that.
Who would you most like KSR to interview while you were on the phone to talk to them, and what would you say?Pete Thamel. I would like to get his thoughts on a survey I did that found 1,000 out of 1,000 regular Americans I interviewed had never heard of him, but 950 out of 1,000 regular Americans had slept with a plush animal made in my likeness. I would then sing a song to him on the air and wait for his reaction.
Does Baby Bop really exist?Of course!
Is Baby Bop a UK fan too?Is Matt Walsh fabulous?
Why are you purple and not blue if you are such a huge UK fan?Now, now, Ally. That’s silly pants. Not even the extinct bird-reptiles should be judged merely by the color of our plush. I bleed blue through and through!
If you had a MySpace Top 8 who would be in it and why?Mandy Moore, Amanda Moore, Amanda Leigh Moore, Mandy L. Moore, A.L. Moore, Mandy Leigh Moore, Lucy Camden, and Tom.
What do you think about Mark Krebs’ new acting career?I’m proud of him. He needs to stay true to his roots and not say naughty words or do naughty things in New Orleans. TV-G has worked for me!
Which KSR (main site) writer would be the most likely to be a kid on the Barney show?Tyler Montell already has been. He met me while we were at UK together, lied about his age, and snuck his baby face by our producers and onto my show with apparent relative ease.
Who would be least likely?Turkey Hunter, because our TV-G rating would be like Alex Trebek …in Jeopardy…HeeHooHoo! See what I did there?
3 goggles or the John Wall Dance?Raleigh be the city where we like to do the dance, flex to the left throw some money out ya hands, we do it for the city, we do it for the fans, to ball like Wall boy you gotta do the dance, errbody do the John Wall…Yayyyy
What are some of your biggest pet peeves?Eating alone, becoming extinct, Duke, Thomas the Tank Engine, Rashaad McCants
Perfect first date?Breakfast night at the Commons followed by candlelight dessert at the K-Lair.
If you were giving a recruiting pitch to Shabazz Muhammad, what would you say?Nothing. I would take him to the Qdoba next to Memorial Coliseum, get it to go, and have a picnic on the lawn in front of the ADPi house on white dress day. Flip, game over.
Funniest guesses people have made about your identity?I’m like the Tony Rich Project. Nobody Knows…
Who would win in a fight: You or Fake Lou Holtz?I would win. I would distract him and ask him what herbivores eat, and while he tried to say lettuce, I would end him.
Most played song on your iPod?Pretty Ricky “Your Body”
Singer/songwriter Jewel once said, “If I could tell the world just one thing it would be, we’re all okay.” If you could tell the world just one thing, what would it be?I would tell them not to worry cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these. Then I would yodel.
If you could only follow 4 people on Twitter for the rest of your life, who would you follow?@KySportsRadio, @MsTylerKSR, @JayBilas, @UKKelleyB
Any stretching tips for Jarnell Stokes?Don’t drop the SOPA
Dream job?Hosting a Kid’s Show with Coach Cal
Dream girl?Alex Mack.
If you had to be a fan of another school, which school would you pick and why?The Furman University Purple Paladins. Because they are purple. And the white hats with their school’s initials on them are funny. And Greenville, SC is almost halfway between my house and Lexington. HeeHooHoo!
If you met Christian Laettner in a dark alley, what would you do/say?I would subdue him and force him to endure the awfulness of his UK Villains commercial over and over like we did.
What are your early impressions of KSR College?The lady reporters are talented, beautiful, skilled interviewers and the guys are okay.
Any advice on dealing with the haters in the comment section?Grr, bullies make me wish I wasn’t a peaceloving herbivore fond of rainbows, butterflies and sunshine. Matt, KSR College writers, just ignore them, they all have poopy pants and fewer Twitter followers than a Fake Purple Radio Dinosaur your show created.
A big thank you to Fake Barney for the interview. I used to genuinely believe that Thomas Beisner was the voice of Fake Barney, but now I know the truth. Your secret is safe with me. And Tim Tebow.
@AllyTuckerKSR Follow me everything is alright. I’ll be the one to tuck you in at night (just kidding, that’s creepy)
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