It is currently 2:30 p.m. and God only knows what sights are going down inside the Derby infield. The Kentucky Derby is an event unlike any other on one side of the track there is an elite group of wealth and status on the other a mix of drunkenness and debauchery. The Derby is the only event that combines the sophistication of Golf with the wild party of a Nascar race. Unfortunately this year I was unable to attend but thanks to the state’s own Hunter S. Thompson I can relive exactly what the environment is like.

As Kristen wrote below on Derby day this article is a must read. Forty-two years ago Mr. Thompson was sent to cover the derby and through a mix of alcohol and tight deadlines ended up producing the first piece of Gonzo journalism and one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. So for those of you out there who like me are unable to attend give this a read, if you’ve read it before read it again. This piece truly gets better each time. And imagine the events going on at the horse race.

The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved

An excerpt:

I pointed to the huge grassy meadow enclosed by the track. “That whole thing,” I said, “will be jammed with people; fifty thousand or so, and most of them staggering drunk. It’s a fantastic scene–thousands of people fainting, crying, copulating, trampling each other and fighting with broken whiskey bottles. We’ll have to spend some time out there, but it’s hard to move around, too many bodies.

Despite the passing of forty-two years it still sounds like not much has changed at the derby. The Kentucky derby is still very much decadent and depraved and here are some of the events I think are going down.

Mud-Pit

-Last nights spring showers coupled with 100,000 feet walking over the same spot has probably turned the ground into complete mush by now. As things tend to go, people have probable begun to grab and throw the sloppy dirt and started sliding in the filth.

Port-o-Dash

Every year the Derby produces excellent footage of drunkards running along the tops of port-o-potties and getting pegged by cans from all around. This is must-see TV and i can’t wait for this year’s videos to hit youtube.

Highway Robbery

Have you seen those prices! Six dollars for a bottle of water!

The Prince of the Infield

Some lucky goon has just hit a superfecta after picking four random numbers in an early race. He is now a king among his peers and is being carried through the crowd as such.

There is sure to be some incredible things happening all over the city of Louisville and the state right now, it’s sure is fun to try and imagine the things happening right now and just how Hunter S. would have described it.

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