[Moderated by Matt Jones]
School’s been out for a little bit now, and the novelty of having nothing to do all day has worn off. Even if it hasn’t, you’re probably starting to have an uncomfortable realization that goes hand in hand with all the fun things you’ve been doing this summer: they all cost money. You don’t want your pockets running dry at a crucial moment, such as bribing the karaoke DJ to play your song or paying off your little brother not to tell Mom what time you came home (living at home is so fun!!), so here’s my list of summer job suggestions for UK fans.
1.Ushering at Rupp Arena. Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to be a senior citizen to apply (just drop the phrase “reverse age discrimination”). Besides getting to don a badass blue blazer, by getting your feet in the door this summer, you’ll have a few months to work your way up the corporate ladder and earn the honor of working UK basketball games in the fall. Study that seating chat, people! Pros: hearing World War II stories from your fellow Section 223 coworkers Fred and Leonard, free soft-serve ice cream. Cons: Having to work country music concerts. Potentially Nickelback concerts too (does not apply if you are Laura Leigh Rossell).
2. Cashier at Orange Leaf. Personally, I will be forever true to Graeter’s, but if you want to up your chances of seeing Coach Cal in a Hawaiian shirt or Joe B. as he leaves his Wheeler’s breakfast club, Orange Leaf is for you. Pros: It’s nearly guaranteed that you’ll hobnob with Coach Cal at some point. Cons: Unlimited frozen yogurt is not a good look on anyone in the summer. Tread carefully.
3. Referee at the Blue Courts. Okay, so maybe this isn’t an official job, but if you can wrangle up a black-and-white striped shirt (ask Referee Guy from the eRupption zone where he got his), try lurking around the Blue Courts at UK and offering to referee games for a price. You’ll be the impartial judge when matches get heated, and you’ll get a sweet farmers tan. Pros: High possibility of cameo in the next WBA video, very easy provided you know the rules of basketball, may get first glimpse of the Flat Top on campus. Cons: Risk of dehydration is high, sun poisoning is very painful, meathead may beat you up over missed call, and let’s face it, girls tend to go for the guys playing basketball, not watching it.
4. UK Themed Lawn Mowing. You guys know that house off Tates Creek across from Morton that had “BUSH” mowed into their lawn for years? (Well, it seemed like years anyway) Take that and give it a UK twist. Similar to Noel, start branding your lawn mowing business by offering to mow UK-themed designs into the grass. You can go simple with just the UK logo or a paw print, or more elaborate, like silhouettes of our starting five last season or the years of each of our national championships. The world is your lawn. Get creative.
5. Autograph Tour. If all else fails, go on your own autograph tour across Kentucky. Declare your one claim to fame- got dunked on by Anthony Davis at the Blue Courts, got retweeted by Doron, made Eloy’s Top 8 on MySpace, whatever- and sell the hell out of it. Live-tweet your journey. Friendly hint: your autographs likely won’t go for $50 a pop. Price realistically. Pros: Road tripping around our great state at a lovely time of year, meeting the fans, Shoney’s was recently renovated. Cons: Gas money is a b*tch, so you may end up spending more than you make.
I’m nannying this summer and I’m tweeting the hell out of it. #AdventuresinBabysitting. @KristenGeilKSR
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